Vertigo, directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Vertigo, directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Starring Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak

Released May 9, 1958

Romance Grade: F

I am well aware that this movie is a Hitchcock classic, an eerie psychological thriller. Things are supposed to be a little twisted. It’s certainly not meant to be a feel-good romance. It’s a classic movie, well-ranked on all kind of “greatest films” lists. But the relationships in this movie made me so angry. And I want to talk about it. It’s going to be a rant, but I’m willing to be reasoned with in the comments once I get my rant out. Here goes.

Reader Beware: Spoilers aplenty, which I’m not going to white out.

First of all, there’s Midge (Barbara Bel Geddes). She’s smart, witty, talented, wears fabulous glasses and clothes, and designs lingerie. But she pines after “Johnny-O,” better known to us as Scottie Ferguson (Jimmy Stewart), the “hero” who suffers from the titular condition. They were even engaged in college for a few weeks (never mind than Jimmy Stewart is 14 years older than his counterpart and looks it), but Midge broke it off. Clearly, she’s “independent.” Ha. So independent that she happens to be driving by his apartment and notice a woman leaving his apartment one night, and also copies a portrait he’s been obsessed with but paints herself as the subject. And does realize that was “stupid” (yes, Midge, and creepy) until after he sees it and freaks out. And then mopes because Scotty goes crazy and is still in love with that other woman.

That’s all we get of Midge. I’m not entirely sure what her function is, besides to acquaint him with some information about San Francisco and serve as a bit of a friend. The unrequited romantic longing, by a woman who pretends to be modern, sophisticated, and independent, is just gratuitous. I don’t wish Scottie would come to his senses and woo Midge. I wish Midge would wash her hands of him—or at least make the relationship completely platonic –and go out and find a much better man, who will appreciate her glasses and classical music, and benefit from her expertise in lingerie.

Seriously, major spoilers about to happen.

But, of course, Midge is not the “heroine” of this story; Madeleine/Judy (both roles played by Kim Novak) is. In the first part of the movie, we know this character as Madeleine Elster, the wife of an old acquaintance of Scottie’s. This acquaintance, Gavin, asks Scottie to tail his wife and see if she is being possessed. Scottie is the world’s worst follower—at one point he parks about three feet behind Madeleine in a random alley and thinks she won’t notice. The fact that she doesn’t, and often looks right past Scottie when normal people would see him, I guess becomes part of the evidence that she’s in a possessed trance? That can’t be good for her driving ability, since the woman who supposedly possesses her, Carlotta Valdes, lived a century ago and wouldn’t really have had a chance to practice.

Anyway, Scottie starts to get a little obsessed—who can resist a beautiful, passive, mysterious blonde whom one is being instructed to follow around? So he probably really enjoys the part where Madeleine jumps into San Francisco Bay “under Carlotta’s influence” and he has to drag her unconscious body out of the water and into his car and back to his house. And it’s pretty convenient that because she’s soaking wet, he has to take off all of her clothes and put them in the kitchen to dry and leave her naked in his bed. Excuse me? This is a strange woman, another man’s wife. I wish he had called Midge over to chaperone, because this is just weird. If it had been differently handled—and this hadn’t been a married woman who is possibly mentally unstable—maybe it would have worked. This theme is going to come back.

Like when Scottie and Madeleine share their first kisses, embraces, and whatnot, with swelling music and crashing waves in the background. It’s clearly supposed to be an inspiring and romantic scene, but…Madeleine just expressed uncertainty about her identity and her sanity, and what’s more possibly attempted suicide again in her dash toward the ocean. I find it really icky, consent-wise. Madeleine is in no state to consent. And it’s even ickier that as Madeleine and Scottie progress in their “romance,” the only issue discussed is Madeleine’s possible possession and her possible impending suicide. The part where she is married, and what’s more married to the person who put Scottie in her path, is never mentioned or worried about. They love each other and Scottie is going to keep Madeleine safe, who cares about adultery and betrayal? It’s so romantic!

It gets worse when Scottie sees Judy. She’s some random woman on the street, a woman walking by herself back to her residence, and he follows her and then comes up to her apartment, asking to be let in. She refuses, but neglects to slam the door in face or threaten to call the police, so Scottie is eventually successful. When someone only relents because they know you are not going to stop and they can’t reason with you, that is not true consent. Hence I find Judy’s admitting Scottie into the apartment extremely problematic.

A lot of what happens after that is Scottie wanting to do things and Judy relenting not because she also wants to do those things but because “she loves him.” And I HATE it. Her makeover thing, where Scottie makes her shop for the exact clothes, hair color, and makeup that will recreate her as Madeleine? It is disgusting—he is literally using her as a sex toy. And the shopkeepers look on so amused: “The gentleman certainly knows what he wants.” She could be a blow-up doll—maybe he’d prefer her that way, so she’d stop putting up such a fuss. When shopping for the suit, she is vehemently protesting. This is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Finally, Scottie realizes he’s been had. Because Judy is apparently an idiot who doesn’t realize that there’s anything wrong or dangerous about wearing the Carlotta necklace from her Madeleine identity. Good job, Judy. Of course, then Scottie kidnaps Judy, drives her out to the mission where “Madeleine” drives, and forcibly drags her up the stairs of the tower. Judy, darling, you’re not exactly an innocent miss. I’m sure you’re perfectly aware of men’s physical vulnerability, which is easily exploited by kneeing them in the groin. This action would not have gone amiss in that last scene. I don’t care if you love him, you should have taken him out before he even got you up the stairs, then run away and raised the alarm. Obviously there are other people around—ironically, if there hadn’t been, you might have survived the movie despite your many poor choices.

I’m usually not so callous, and I’m usually not so critical, and I usually don’t reward F grades. But this is completely unacceptable. Adultery is not admirable, consent is essential, and abuse of any kind is unacceptable. This love story is truly a nightmare.